Addi's first Surgery

My sweet baby has always been perfect in my eyes. I have always loved how she looks and never saw her cleft as anything but part of her adorable face. But I knew that it would have to be changed, and we needed to do it to help her live a normal life. We decided not to have the surgery done at our local hospital on base; we'd heard a lot of stories and personal accounts on the carelessness, or maybe just lack of knowledge, at this hospital, and wanted to give our baby the best we could. A few days after Addi was born, my mom got us in touch with the Shriner's hospital in Sacramento, which is about an hour away. They said an application is in the mail, which I ended up getting a month later. We finally got the date for her appointment, which was for November 6th, two days before Addi turned 4 months old. I was excited and nervous at the same time, but it felt forever away. In the mean time, I enjoyed my growing baby and took as many pictures as I could.
November finally rolled around, along with temperatures that dropped below the normal 80 degrees and leaves turning colors, reminding me of home. Addison's appointment went well; we loved the doctor and were glad he seemed knowledgeable. They said they'd probably get her in for surgery in 1-2 months, and that didn't surprise me; I'd heard they've been super busy. But then they told us they'd had cancellations on that coming Monday, and Chris told them we would come if they could get us in. Monday?! In three days?? When they said they would switch a younger baby out of a spot to put us in, I was a little in shock. I had no idea it would happen that fast! I felt unprepared and rushed,but I knew it was for the best, so we said YES and got sent around to see anesthesia, and get pictures taken of Addi for before surgery. Then we went home.
On Sunday we drove up to Sac, found a place to stay for the night (which ended up being a ghetto Kiwanis house, but only 20 bucks a night), and took pictures of Addi. We got up at 4 the next morning, so we could feed Adds before we went to the hospital. Turns out we fed her too close to her surgery time, so we got pushed back. A lot. I kept Addi asleep as long as I could, putting off the crying and screaming that was likely to come if she realized how long it had been since she'd last eaten. When she finally did wake up, we still had about an hour to go before surgery, so I walked around on the balcony with her. The brisk, fresh air kept her quiet until we got called back to the pre-op waiting room. By this time it had been over 5 hours since she'd eaten, and Addi's used to eating ever 2 hours. She got really crabby about now, and the little singing light-up piano they had there was a lifesaver. But she was in full out mode scream mode when they finally took her from my arms. I was a little relieved - holding her for 6 hours straight is pretty hard - but also scared to death of not being able to see what was happening to her and not being able to comfort her cries. Then the waiting began. I guess it was really only two and a half hours, but it felt way longer. When the doctors finally came out and told us it had gone well, I wanted to run past them and find my baby. But it was about 10 minutes longer before they called me back to the recovery room. It is so heartbreaking to see your child in pain. Addi was crying her heart out, screaming in hunger, pain, and confusing from the medicine. I held her carefully, trying to calm her down, seeing if she wanted to eat. It was so sad to hear her cry that little sob, but eventually she calmed down and tried to eat. She was so hungry and I felt so bad for her! Her poor lip looked so painful and I was amazed she tried to suck on the bottle at all.
The rest of that day was spent rocking, comforting, and trying to feed her. I was so sore, but it didn't matter. Addi ate a whole bottle a little while after we got into a room downstairs, but I could tell it didn't feel too good. She was a trooper, slept most of the night, and was doing much better in the morning. They sent us home around 10am with instructions to use baby tylenol and keep her hands away from her face. She slept the whole way home.
The stitches looked so yucky, but I could tell she would be beautiful. The next week was worse than the first week of her life (when she was barely 5 pounds and jaundiced). But we got through, and Addi's stitches came off that Monday.
I love my daughter's new smile and her beautiful lips, but it will take some getting used to. I miss my happy go lucky girl, but she's slowly coming back. :) I can't wait to take her to WA and show her off!