4-27-11

One more night before Chris leaves. He's deploying to Iraq for 6 months, leaving in the morning (if you can call 1:30am morning). I pretend it's not that bad, that 6 months will go really fast, and I will be so busy I won't even miss him, and then he will be home in my arms, completely unchanged and safe, his babies will remember him and be as excited as I am to have him home, and readjustment will be a breeze. But I know that every one of those 189 nights when I go to bed alone, and try to fall asleep in the dark, I will be painfully lonely. He is my everything, I don't know how to function without him. He remembers peoples' names for me, runs the dishwasher when I haven't got a chance to in two days, makes me feel that the mundane tasks I do over and over are appreciated, tells me I am beautiful and that he loves me. I cannot imagine not feeling his arms around me for so long. I'm trying so hard to be strong, but all I want to do is cry.
We've been in our new house for over a week now, and it's starting to feel like home. The kitchen is organized, but everything else needs a little more work. Chris built me a planter box and brought my herbs over from the old house yesterday, and they look so pretty.
Was going to write more but it will have to wait. I'm off to clean before Chris gets back from his UDM meeting and final inspection of the old house.